YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND BE LONELY.

 KNOCK, CALL AND CARE – Keeping loneliness from stealing our smiles. 

In the UK, around 1:3 people live alone. Mostly by choice although sometimes after losing a partner or who have family who live a long way away. The World Economic Forum warned us that ‘We would own nothing and be happy’. However, they lied, what they really meant was ‘You will own nothing and be lonely’. 

Who do you have living close to you who are on their own? Perhaps it is you who are alone? Who is checking in with you to make sure you are, ok? It is easy to assume that someone is fine when you haven’t heard otherwise, but life can change quickly for older adults. A quick knock at the door, a phone call or even a wave through the window can ensure they’re okay, that they have what they need and are ok. 

Many older people manage brilliantly on their own, staying active and fiercely independent well into their 80’s and 90’s. However, living alone can and does carry real risks and heart-breaking real-life examples. Let’s look at a few:

Loneliness and isolation 

Age UK reports that enduring loneliness hits harder for those on lower incomes with certain health conditions, or in particular housing situations. Loneliness is lined to higher risks of depression and heart disease. 

Dehydration 

Dying of thirst is more common than you may perhaps suspect. Dehydration is prevalent for older people and is life threatening. As we become older, we lack the ability to recognise when we are thirsty. As a result, many older people forget to drink which quickly leads to dehydration and sometimes death. Medications such as diuretics can increase fluid loss. Mobility difficulties make it harder to get drink. Regularly checking in with elderly family and neighbours can literally save lives. Asking simple questions: Have you had a cup of tea today? Or simple gestures such as placing a jug of water or thermos flask within easy access will help enormously. Notice if someone is confused or seems off balance. Dehydration can lead to loss of balance and falls. Lacking a good intake of fluids daily may also cause urinary tract infections. 

Falls and sudden health changes. 

These can happen without warning. Older people who live alone are 50% more likely to end up in A/E compared to those living with others. A quick visit lets you spot hazard trips and to see if that person is moving around comfortably or hiding a fall they may feel too embarrassed to admit to. Many older people don’t like asking for help or being a burden on others and will try to manage as independently as they can. No one likes to ask for help but many are very grateful for the help when it is offered. Some may not even be aware they need help. Observation is key. 

Tragically, some cases go unnoticed for far too long. Reports show thousands of people each year are found deceased in their homes, days, weeks or even longer after passing. In recent years around 9,000 people were discovered at least a week after death, often alone and undiscovered. Not even missed due to fragmented social and family connections. 

A quick check or call does more than confirm someone is alive, it builds a connection.

Humans need human contact in order to survive. 

You don’t need grandiose gestures. Start small. 

Pop round once or twice a week just to say hello. 

Offer practical help such as shopping or filling a kettle. 

Check in by phone for a quick chat. 

If you are a neighbour, suggest a regular signal like a card in the window if all is well. 

For those further away, video calling can be a solution. 

We all live busy lives in a busy clown world. It is tempting to think someone else will check. But what if they don’t. Could that person be you. A few minutes could prevent a crisis, ease loneliness, ensure hydration and peace of mind. 

Next time you think of Mum, Dad, Uncle Brian, Auntie Doreen or that quiet gentlemen next door, pick up the phone, pop over. It may be one of the most important things you do all day.